SWAGGER

by Hue
(South Australia)

I was called by the same telemarketer 3 times in one day. The third time he called, I didn't hang up like I usually do. I started to ask if it was a helpline. Then I say that I'm going to suicide. He started talking about the new product. I started sobbing while saying yes or no. He asked me if I wanted to buy the product so I said: "Can I buy your company?". He obviously said that he was only selling the product. Then, I asked him if he could come over to comfort me. I tell him a fake address that sounds real. He again obviously says no, so I pop a paper bag which makes him instantly think I shot myself. He says "Hello?" many times before hanging up.